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Shutting Down Inside Sales Dude

Posted on January 5, 2019December 31, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

As many of you know, 2018 was a rough year for my family. My wife was diagnosed with lung cancer in March 2018. After extensive treatment and far too much suffering, she died in December 2018. Because my focus was taking care of her, I put the Inside Sales Dude blog and business on hold…

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I’m In Repair

Posted on January 2, 2019January 1, 2025 by Steve Ainslie

I’ve been writing a lot lately about my wife – her cancer, her treatment and her death. Now that she has died, I am in mourning. I don’t know how long this will last or what it will be like. In some ways, I’ve been mourning since March 2018, when she was first diagnosed. It’s…

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Turning Off The TV

Posted on January 1, 2019September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

After my wife died a few weeks ago, I cancelled TV service with Comcast. I have Netflix, Amazon Prime and an OTA digital antenna so I figured these would suffice. Within a few days, I stopped watching all TV. I no longer watch movies, TV shows or the news. Instead I listen to music, read books…

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Big Empty Life

Posted on December 29, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

My wife went into hospice two weeks ago and never returned. Now it’s just me, my dog and our two cats living a big empty life in my big empty house. I like quiet – but I liked it more when I had Ellen to share it with. A hundred times a day, I want to…

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Black and White

Posted on December 29, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I spent my first 7 years living in a small coal mining town that was 100% white. There wasn’t a single black person who lived in my town. I’d seen black people on TV shows like “The Jeffersons” and “Sanford and Son” but I had never met one in person before I turned 7. I…

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Keep Your Eyes Open For An Opportunity To Help

Posted on December 25, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

After my disappointing car selling attempt a few weeks ago, I called a friend to complain. He told a story about when he was settling his mother’s estate and had to sell a couple of her old cars.

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Carnundrum

Posted on December 15, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

During the past five years, my wife and I had little use for two cars. I worked from home (or not at all), she drove very little and we almost never drove both cars simultaneously.  Now that she’s gone, I planned to sell her car.    I’ve got my 2004 Scion 9 (the Toaster) with…

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My Wife Died Last Night

Posted on December 14, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

Ellen was my one and only true love. For 29 years she was the light of my life. She brought joy, color and life into my world. She fought her cancer with every bit of her mind and body, enduring grueling treatments and suffering from months of pain trying to stay alive for me and…

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Dying Without Dignity

Posted on December 14, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I live in Florida, a state that has no “death with dignity” law, so for eight days I sat by my wife’s bedside in the hospital waiting for her to die.  If we had such a law, it would have saved us months of anguish. It would have given my wife a peaceful death in…

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Fashion Show – Remembering My Wife

Posted on December 11, 2018September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I was talking to Zack the other day about what to do with my wife’s clothing after she dies.  Normally, I am a purger. Whenever we moved or downsized in the past, I got rid of stuff quickly. If I hadn’t seen or used it for a year I got rid of it.  But this…

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