On a podcast the other day, an author and psychology expert was promoting her book about “relationships in the digital age.” She had worked for one of the big tech companies as an in-house therapist (Facebook or Google, I can’t remember) for a decade before launching her own private practice.
She spoke about texting. A lot. She said that her tech patients would often show her texts on their phones and ask, “What does he/she mean by this text?” They would rely on her to decipher and decrypt the meaning behind messages from friends, dates and coworkers.
Then she went on to explain different texting styles, what words different types of people use, the meaning behind emoticon usage etc.
It was total hogwash.
It reminded me of tarot card readings or horoscopes. Her advice was vague enough that it could apply to almost anyone. Or not.
More importantly, humans need to have face to face conversations to pick up on subtle nuances, have meaningful dialogue and communicate effectively.
At the very least, a phone conversation will shed more context than trying to decipher texts.
But she never mentioned actually calling someone or going to see them.
She is solving the wrong problem.
The problem isn’t trying to figure out what someone’s text means.
The problem is trying to use text for meaningful conversations.
The solution is simple – don’t. Talk to the person instead.