A friend told me recently that she lives according to the principal of Radical Honesty. I had never heard that term before but immediately recognized it because that’s how I choose to live.
I don’t lie, cheat or steal. Nor do I tolerate this behavior in others. Having been partnered up for 38 of my 53 years, I never once cheated on any of my girlfriends or my wife.
I am probably disturbingly honest to most people. My stepson once told me, “I love coming to you for advice Stever, because I know you’re going to give it to me straight and won’t lie to me. Even though sometimes it feels like you hit me with a 2×4.”
That made me reflect. I pride myself on being honest and truthful. I don’t mind being blunt and direct. But perhaps I needed to be a bit kinder and more compassionate.
In addition to Radical Honesty, I’ve always practiced kindness. Sometimes, the two complement each other nicely.
Other times, I will choose kindness over Blunt Honesty and “the Truth”.
I don’t always know what “the Truth” is – no matter how strong my opinion is. But I almost always know how to be kind.
There are times when I will say nothing. I don’t blurt out every crazy thought in my head (although I sometimes do this on my blog). Often I need time to meditate, process and digest just to figure out what I am thinking.
I do like the term Radical Honesty. I’m adopting it from my friend and using it to describe how I believe and act – except with a caveat:
I practice Radical Honesty – tempered with kindness
*I read the 1994 book called “Radical Honesty” by Brad Blanton. It was enlightening and thought provoking. His version is more radical than mine but both share common foundational elements & philosophies. Brad believes in expressing all inner thoughts, desires and feelings. That may work for some, but seems unnecessarily cruel for me. I also don’t agree with his views on sex, marriage, polyamory and open marriages.That said, it’s good for me to read books that challenge my beliefs. It helps me question, clarify, understand and lock them into place.
**My friend said she didn’t coin the term or read Blanton’s book. She’d heard it from Jordan Peterson.