Labels used to be very important to me. They were how I defined who and what I was. Labels were a (the?) core part of my identity.
- I was an Academic Genius.
- I was a Husband.
- I was a Caretaker.
- I was a Provider.
- I was a Tech Guy.
- I was an All Star at work.
- I was a VP (Manager, Director, Head Lifeguard, etc.)
- I was the Go To Guy.
- I was a Father (step).
- I was an Animal Rescuer.
- I was a Guy Who Lifts Weights.
- I was a Reader, Thinker, Honest Man
After my wife died, I struggled with Labels. Without her, what was I? Suddenly, I had lost a core part of my being. If I wasn’t a Husband, then what was I?
Without her? What am I?
Even after I had passed through the worst of my grieving process, I found it difficult to put a Label on who/what I am now. I tried a few. But the Labels only “kind of” fit.
- Widower
- Solo/Single Guy
- Early Retiree
- Former VP/Manager/Tech Sales Guy
- Dog Lover
- Exercise Fanatic
- Painter
- Loner
- Weirdo
Until this morning when I had an epiphany.
I don’t need a Label. I don’t need to define who or what I am. Labels never defined me, even when I though they were so core to my identity.
They were just words that described something I once did.
I used to be a … Husband, Provider, Stepfather, High Achiever…
Now, I no longer am. I’m just a guy who does some things. Right now that includes working out, swimming, making art, dog walking, home repairs, frugality, reading, watching serial TV shows, reading, and cleaning.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll do different things.