Someone I once knew long ago has recently fallen upon hard times. He had launched a business venture which was now failing (publically). From what I heard, the person’s unethical business practices and incompetence finally caught up to him.
I never liked this guy. He was a liar, a cheat and a self-serving back stabber. It’s understandable that one of my initial thoughts was, “Karma…he finally got what he deserved.”
But that thought didn’t stick with me long. It was immediately followed up with a sadness. I expected more from him. When I knew him many years ago, he was young, brash and impetuous. He was also talented, intelligent and driven. So instead of feeling a surge of “justice”, I felt disappointed in him and for how things have turned out.
I didn’t think this because I’m a saint. Nor because I’m a “turn the other cheek” type of guy or a posturing do-gooder. I just tend to feel sympathy for people when they are down and I often see the good in people.
When I was sharing this story with a friend, I could almost feel her salivating through the phone as she gleefully said, “It’s karma…he got what he deserved. That‘s great!”
But that’s not why I told her the story. I told the story because I was feeling melancholic about this man. I was thinking about other people I knew who had so much promise, then squandered it, screwed people over and “got their comeuppance“. Some were jailed. Some died. Some went bankrupt. Some struggled to ever find a firm footing again.
My friend’s reaction made me feel revulsion. I told her that, except for the one brief moment, I did not share her joy.
Then I changed the subject. Because I knew talking about the other people this made me think of and my somber mood would be wasting my breath. My friend and I have entirely different perspectives about schadenfreude.
I expected more from her too.