When I need to accomplish something difficult, I have to narrow my focus to my single most important goal.
Past goals have included:
- Graduate high school as valedictorian
- Pay off my debt
- Relocate
- Help my wife battle a health issue
- Start a new job
- Hit the quarterly sales number
- Lose weight
Here’s how I do it.
- I prioritize my activity around the goal. This activity gets done before anything else. It happens every day and consumes most of my time.
- I de-emphasize other activities by eliminating them or doing the bare minimum required to maintain a minimally acceptable level.
- I don’t spend mental energy thinking about other goals. My attention is dedicated only to my #1 goal.
I’ve talked about doing this for work in my post on work/life balance and in the 1 Big Rock post.
In recent months I found myself relying on this strategy heavily in my personal life too.
My wife is dying from lung cancer. After months of unsuccessful treatments, she’s now on hospice and will remain at home with me caring for her until she dies.
My #1 goal is keep my wife as pain free as possible.
That’s meant many of my other activities have been put on the back burner:
I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in weeks.
My workout schedule and efforts have been compromised.
My diet is not where I would like it to be.
My social life is nonexistent.
My business has been put on hold.
My dog doesn’t get as many walks or as much attention as I’d like.
New activity has taken priority:
I talk to our hospice nurse several times a week.
I now manage all medications, refills, and appointments.
I’ve become our de facto status updater with friends, family, neighbors etc.
My days center around monitoring her symptoms, managing her mediations, researching treatments and keeping her comfortable.
I fit exercise. chores, sleep and phone calls around this. Fortunately, most days I am able to squeeze these in.
Having a singleness of purpose keeps me focused.
It would be easy to allow myself to get distracted by other goals. In fact, it would be a welcome diversion.
I’d like to think about business. I’d like to focus 100% on fitness. I’d like to spend my days enjoying life with my wife like we did before her cancer was discovered. I’d like to send time daydreaming, watching movies, and shooting the shit with friends.
But today, that’s not my role.
Singleness of purpose helps me do what’s most important right now.