After my mother’s recent car wreck, health crisis and the subsequent significant direct assistance from my sister in December of last year, I had what I thought was a great idea. Since my mother would no longer be driving, she should get Meals-On-Wheels. That way, at least she’d have food each weekday so my sister didn’t’t have to take on the burden of all shopping, grocery store trips and doctor’s appointment for my mother who would otherwise be homebound. (My mother refuses to try Uber, Instacart, Doordash or any senior transportation services).
I figured MOW would ensure she had decent food and also regular social contact with an live human being 5 days a week. The cost is negligible and the MOW people I spoke with in my mother’s hometown were all extremely friendly.
I spoke to my mother about this and she acquiesced after expressing some hesitation. When I asked about her hesitation, she said, “Well, I’m familiar with MOW – I know what their food is like.”
I had no response. From my reach online, the food looked and sounded far better than what my mother has eaten for the last 30 years. My mother hasn’t cooked a meal in decades (other than a TV dinner or out of a heat-and-serve styrofoam cup). I would guess her diet is primarily Cheetos, chips, Diet Cherry Pepsi (gag me), cigarettes, bananas, oatmeal and the occasional frozen dinner. She enjoys going out to restaurants with her friends and grandson too. And my sister often has her over for holiday meals or takes her leftovers. So she’s never been in any danger of starvation, despite my low opinion of her dietary choices.
She’s a grown woman. She can eat what she wants.
Still, I knew MOW would be step up.
After her first few days, I asked how she liked it. She told me the volunteer drivers were friendly and usually on time. Then she complained about the food. One meal was cold. Another was bland. Another time the hot dog came with a slice of bread instead of a bun.
The next time I spoke to her, she had similar complaints about the quality of the food, so I said, “Well, since you don’t like it, just cancel the service. I wouldn’t keep getting MOW if I didn’t like the food”. There was no way I was going to try to convince her to stay on MOW. It’s her life and her choice.
Instead of agreeing with me she said, “No, I’m going to give them another week to se fi things change.”
That was a few weeks ago. She’s mentioned a couple of “really tasty” meals. More often, she complains about the food. She never talks about the drivers or her interactions with them.
I mentioned again that she could cancel the service anytime by letting the driver know or calling the MOW number. Her response again was, “No…not yet.”
After our most recent discussion conversion, I realized that MOW provides her with something even better than nutritious food and human interaction.
It gives her something to complain about!
It makes me laugh to think about it. Then again, her mother, whom I loved dearly, was a chronic complainer who bitched about everything.
To each his (or her) own.
I couldn’t stand to be like that, but then again, I don’t have to.
Perhaps I should offer MOW an anonymous suggestion for their 2024 fundraising campaign. “Give your loved one the gift of Something To Complain About.”
