Some days it seems like life just keeps hitting you with another sucker punch. One discouraging thing after another hits you as the bad news keeps piling up. We’ve all had days like these.
I try to prepare for the worst by planning for contingencies and by imagining what’s the worst thing that can happen (stoicism). Usually that works, but not always.
When it fails, it’s because I didn’t map out all the contingencies and I failed to imagine the true worst case scenarios:
- I worried about my wife’s lung cancer surgery, her time in the hospital and the recovery time. What I failed to imagine was the possibility that the surgery would reveal that the cancer had metasticized throughout her body and would cause her to have innumerable ineffective treatments, significant pain and constant suffering for the next 6 months until she died.
- I had concerns about my job and career progression. It never occurred to me that my company would go bankrupt and shut it’s doors without making payroll.
- I wake up disappointed about not be able to see a friend for socializing. By the end of the day, I am overwhelmed with concern about my friend’s health issues.
Life. Sometimes it just sucks.
- A sore elbow turns into bursitis.
- An argument ends a friendship.
- A wrong turn makes you miss the event.
- A leaky toilet results in a collapsed ceiling.
- Changing the radio station causes a car accident.
When it starts to pile on, I tend to add a few more things to the list. It’s freezing cold outside. My dog won’t stop barking at phantom squirrels. I have a headache. I’m lonely.
Wah.
My stepdaughter Liz used to rub her thumb against the tip of her little finger in tiny strokes when I was full of self-pity like this. Then she’d smile and say,
“You know what this is Steve? It’s the world’s tiniest violin playing the world’s saddest song, just for you.”
No matter how frustrated, anxious, angry or upset I was, it never failed to make me stop and laugh at myself while she laughed with me.
Liz died 15 years ago. It was tragic.
But when I get to feeling really sorry for myself, I picture her grinning from ear to ear and playing the world’s tiniest violin, just for me.
So tonight when I fall asleep, maybe it won’t be to the world’s saddest song.