I turn 50 this month and it got me thinking about my last birthday party – way back when I turned 17.
I had been livid all that week because I had caught my best friend Jeff on the phone several times with my girlfriend Julie.
Even though Jeff had never given me any reason to think he would ever try to steal my girlfriend, I was extremely insecure and suspicious.
I blasted him over the phone and made it crystal clear he needed to keep his distance from Julie or I’d kill him.
So you can imagine my rage when she called me up just a few days later saying “For date night on Saturday, let’s go and hang out at Jeff’s house.”
I almost exploded.
Imagine my surprise when we walked into Jeff’s house and 25 people jumped out of the dark shouting “Happy Birthday!”
There have been many times in my life when I’ve felt like a total asshole, but this one surely stands out. I was mortified at my behavior and ashamed of myself. I immediately apologized to Jeff.
He laughed at me and said, “No problem. You’re an asshole but we love you anyway. Now blow out the candles on your meatloaf birthday cake we just baked for you.”
What I couldn’t tell Jeff at the time was that in my heart I believed he was 10 times the catch I was. I was afraid my girlfriend might realize this and dump me for him.
Ironically, she dumped me – for nobody – just a few weeks later. Probably this had something to do with my lack of self-confidence and because I had been an asshole.
Jeff was one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We had a lot of good times.
After high school, we grew apart as our lives went down different paths.
I haven’t spoken to Jeff in nearly 30 years. If I did, I’d tell him that I’ve tried hard to become the type of friend he showed me was possible way back when.
And although I’ve always taken myself too seriously, my friendship with him helped me to lighten up and enjoy life a little more.
I hope everyone has the chance to make a friend like Jeff.
