After my initial whining about online dating apps and several halfhearted attempts, I am happy to report some good news.
- I’ve learned how to use the apps efficiently to contact women I’m interested in meeting.
- Sticking to my 1% standard is a good idea – for me and for the women.
- I’ve realized that I am very comfortable as a single man, which has removed any self-imposed false sense of urgency to finding “the one”.
- I’ve had several conversations, met a few interesting women, had a few dates and have more planned.
- It has actually been fun meeting these women and getting to know them.
That’s all good news from the logistical side of things.
What is more important, is that I’ve discovered there are many single women in my age group who display a high level of maturity, self-awareness, intelligence, and independence. Most have been through some crucibles in life – divorce, tragedy, loss, bad luck – and have come out stronger and wiser on the other side. Their resilience and wisdom makes them even more attractive to me.
I never really thought about single women much during the 29 years I was married. Most of the single women I worked with were young. They were fresh out of college embarking on a new career. Their lives and experiences were typical for most early 20-somethings.
During this time, I didn’t socialize with single women who were in my peer group. My life was busy. I worked long hours. I travelled for business. I frequently worked extra during my “free time”. Any time remaining was spent with my wife, my dogs and exercising. Plus, I had my wife – she was everything for me – best friend, lover, companion and partner.
So I had no idea what to expect from women I would meet when I re-entered the dating world. It has been a refreshing surprise.
Up until recently, I had only dated girls (when in my teens) and my wife (since I was 21).
I heard stories of women my friends had dated. Frankly, I was not impressed with what I heard. I suspect that is because my friends’ dating criteria differs substantially from mine.
I have yet to meet someone where everything “clicked” enough that we decided to continue dating. That’s been OK too. Some of these may turn into lasting friendships with some pretty cool women. With others, we can simply go our separate ways and wish each other well. One ghosted me, then contacted me to say she didn’t ghost me, then disappeared into the ether again!
All of it is good.
There are many good people in this world – including me and some of the women I am meeting. I am enjoying the journey.