I was thinking about love, marriage, dating and relationships today. This is no big surprise since I regularly listen to podcasts focused on these topics. In conjunction with these contemplations, I was thinking of myself. Which, again is no surprise, since I think about myself nearly every second of every day.
Meeting my future wife was 100% due to chance. We would have never even crossed paths if:
- I hadn’t applied for a job at that store and the owner’s wife liked me.
- My wife hadn’t take a PT job that gave her the flexibility to leave early to pickup her kids after school.
- If the owner didn’t read my pathetic resume and call me for interview.
- If we didn’t both get a little drunk at Christmas party and tell each other our feelings.
The chances of us ever meeting were astronomically thin, much less falling in love and being together for 29 years until she died.
So yeah, what we had was special.
Still, I recognize that were weren’t one in a million.
I’m pretty certain that if I had not met her, I would have met someone else, fallen in love and gotten married.
I’m the marrying type.
And, I was young, ambitious, and just getting started in life. I had reasonable expectations and generally made the best of whatever opportunities life put in front of me.
Of course I would have found someone.
I think about this when I hear people whine about not being able to find their soulmate. They complain about “red flags” and “the ick” and superficial characteristics that end their romantic relationships after a few dates or at best, after a few months.
Are they being unrealistic or naive? Are their expectations unrealistic?
Perhaps.
Or maybe, they are simply not the marrying type.
When two different friends of mine were looking for a partner/wife after being single in middle age they asked about my successful marriage.
I didn’t talk about love, mutual respect, attraction or all the other wonderful parts. I said that both people had to be willing to compromise. We had to give up certain things we liked in order to become lifelong partners.
Interestingly, both friends found love and partners. They are in long term, committed relationships.
Each met someone through chance.
Each had to relinquish certain wants and make compromises which they did in order to have their relationships.
I suspect that my friends are also the Marrying Type.
