My wife has been dead for 8 months and I’m thinking about dating.
For a while, I thought I’d never want to date anyone again (true at the time). Then for while I thought I was in no condition to date (also true).
I’ve had a steady girlfriend (or wife) since I was 16 years old. I like having a companion. I like being in love. I like to have someone to care for. I miss it.
It’s been 30 years since I last dated anyone other than Ellen. I’m not the same person, and the world isn’t the same as it was then.
Back then I met my girlfriends at school, at work and through other friends. Occasionally I met a woman at a nightclub but those relationships never made it beyond a few dates.
Today I don’t work, I have no local friends and I’m definitely not going to a nightclub. I’m not sure how I’ll meet women. Initially I won’t be trying online dating. Stories from my friends who have tried online dating have already soured me on the process. I have zero interest in having a bunch of “first dates” with women just to figure out if we even like each other.
What a waste of time, brain cycles and money.
Then again, I was a successful salesman because I sold where there were customers. Online dating sites have that going for them, so I won’t say never to online dating yet.
I am thinking about taking a painting class in the fall. Maybe I’ll meet someone there but my primary purpose in going is to learn how to paint.*
Perhaps I will ask a stranger out. I see attractive women at the grocery store and around town quite often. I’m not afraid to ask them out, however, I’d don’t want to creep them out by doing so inappropriately. That said, I’m not going to overthink this. What’s the worst that happens – I get turned down or embarrased?
I even considered reaching out to a few women I used to know from work who I always liked to ask them out. I’m not even sure if they are single. So far, I can’t get past the weird creepy factor. After all, when I worked with them I was 100% committed to my wife and unavailable. What do I say now?
“I always found you attractive. Now that my wife is dead would you like to go out for dinner?”
That’s probably not the best approach. I’ll need to think about it some more.
*The class was a disappointment. I stopped going after 3 classes because there was little social interaction and very little instruction