A friend my age is looking for “the One”. He’s had girlfriends – some short term, others for years. But he’s still looking for his perfect soulmate to marry, have kids and grow old together.
I’m lucky that I found “the One” when I was 21. I was naive, madly in love, overconfident in my abilities, inexperienced and just beginning my adult life.
When I made a commitment to be with her, it was for life.
I never doubted our commitment, in good times and bad.
Today, at 54, I’ll never make that same commitment again. I know too much. I’ve grown older and wiser (or at least more experienced).
I understand that a lifelong partnership requires compromise, accommodations and trade-offs. I know there are no guarantees. I understand now that “the One” can’t complete me or fix me or fill a hole inside of me. I have to be whole on my own.
I also know that I’m quite content and satisfied with my life today – single, solo and uninterested in partnering up.
I’m not looking for the love of my life. I already had her. She’s still my dream girl – but only with me in my memories and dreams.
My friend hasn’t had the same experiences I’ve had. He’s still chasing the fairy tale of happily ever after.
Still, I won’t try to dissuade my friend from pursuing his fantasy. Maybe he’ll find “the One”.
I hope he does and lives happily ever after.