The molar which I had a major root canal in three years ago is infected. I’ve had problems with it (ie. pain) off and on ever since I cracked it on an unexpected olive pit which necessitated the first root canal. Most of the time, I take advil for a few days, chew lightly on that side and the pain eventually goes away. Last year, it got bad enough that I saw my dentist who referred me to another endodontist for a consult. The endo said my root canal was probably fine but that the tooth root may have cracked in which case it would have to be extracted and an implant placed. He recommended a conservative “wait and see if the pain diminishes” approach.
We did and I was fine for a year – more or less.
This time it’s different. What started as a dull ache a few days ago has turned into intense throbbing pain all the time. I have been unable to chew on that side of my mouth. Even carefully chewing on the other side is almost impossible because if the molar clicks against my upper molar, it sends lighting bolts of pain through my jaw and up the side of my head. That happened this morning and made me bury my face in a kitchen towel and scream and sob.
I’m not good with pain – but I usually bear it in silence. I couldn’t do that today.
So I have an emergency consult tomorrow with my original endodontist. I am pretty certain one of two things will happen. I’ll get “lucky” and he’ll be able to perform a second root canal to remove the current infection and then plug up the roots. Or, he will find an unrepairable crack and have to pull the tooth and do an implant.
F*** me.
My wife was cursed with horrible teeth whose decay was exacerbated by chronic health conditions and medication side effects. Every molar she had underwent multiple root canals. Her other teeth all had to be drilled, crowned, capped and replaced multiple times. Eventually, she reached a point where she needed anchor teeth pulled and replaced by implants. It was brutal. I swore I’d never go through that.
But I can say with 100% certainty that whatever treatment the endo recommends tomorrow, I’m going to do it. The pain is extraordinarily unbelievable. I will do anything to end it.
Right now I’m alternating Advil with Tylenol regular in an attempt to lower the pain. It helps slightly, but not enough to remove the spike that I now feel is being driven through my left temple or the throbbing in my lower jaw.
Tomorrow cannot arrive soon enough.
As I tossed and turned all night in feverish pain, I dreamt of my late wife. In my dreams I asked her what I should do. She held me, comforted me, reassured me and was my sounding board – just like she would have done in real life.
But when I woke, I was alone. And I knew immediately this was my problem to solve and nobody was going to help me with it.
And that’s really The Painful Truth.
Being autonomous, accepting responsibility and taking action are things I embrace. But when I’m in pain, my mind always goes right to my wife seeking comfort.
And she’s not there anymore.