When I was in high school, my friends and I had an inside joke about conversations with people you didn’t care about. We’d say, “Hi, how’s the weather?”
It started because I noticed that many times when someone in a social situation was “forced” to make conversation with me, they’d talk about the weather until they came up with an excuse to get away and speak with someone else.
I felt it was totally disingenuous. I’d rather them to not speak to me at all. For the most part, I still feel the same way today.
Although, my attitude has shifted somewhat, because I now recognize that casual small talk does have a place in polite society. Not every conversation has to be deep and meaningful – even if I prefer it that way.
So it’s kind of a bummer that the thing my mother most often speaks to me about is the weather. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where if we don’t catch up by phone for a few days, she’ll send me a text with the current weather.
“It’s gloomy and rainy and cold today.”
“Cold, gray and miserable. 24 degrees.”
“It’s hot and muggy with thunderstorms coming.”
Really? Is there nothing else to say?
What I find even stranger is that my mother rarely goes outside – at all. She spends most of her time inside, online or watching TV.
I, on the other hand, am outside for 3+ hours a day. My daily life is largely impacted by the weather. The temperature, sunshine, wind, and thunderstorms have a direct effect on my workouts, dog walking and swimming.
When I make small talk with casual acquaintances, we’ll chat about the weather if it is extremely hot, cold, miserable or wonderful. But with anyone I see regularly, our small talk goes in other directions. I’ll ask about their family, school, vacations, work or other personal things they’ve mentioned. They’ll ask about my dogs, my foot injury or my hobbies. And we barely know each other at all.
A friend told me he gets the weather report from his father whenever they talk too. My friend said that weather gives them something to talk about pleasantly that doesn’t require emotional investment, doesn’t start any political arguments, and is free from introspection, thoughtful discourse or challenge.
That makes sense to me.
My mother doesn’t enjoy the same type of deep, meaningful conversations that I do. We’re wired much differently. When I want to have these discussions, I’ll have them with someone else or I’ll write about them.
And she will keep sending me the weather report.