I heard Morgan Housel say this on a podcast today. He was talking about people who think they are above average investors. But it got me thinking about everything in life.
At all times, in all things, half of us are below average. For me, this is quite apparent with my social connections, my romantic connections (now), my networking skills, my looks/attractiveness, my flexibility, my family connections and much more that could fill this entire screen.
I made my peace with this a long time ago.
I knew about some of my shortcomings from an early age. I was far below average in athletic ability. And, being a fat kid, in looks. On the other hand, I was an academic genius who was always the top of my class.
For a long time I longed to be above average in my weak areas – especially athleticism, attractiveness and being cool.
Paradoxically, it wasn’t until I stopped caring about these things that I made some headway with them. Still, I would never say I was above average.
When I managed a team of tech sales people in the 1990s it finally clicked for me. I had a sales rep on my team who was a natural schmoozer. Despite not being the smartest, nor particularly hardworking, he outsold all of our other reps. I paid attention to discover how he did it. He was a social genius. He befriended his prospects. He played golf with them, took them out for dinner, invited them for drinks after work and hung out with them in his free time. He got to know them and their families. Their families got together for social events.
They, in turn, sent him a lot of business.
He wasn’t dishonest. He wasn’t bribing anyone. He developed actual friendships. That’s how he related to people.
I was terrible at doing that.
On the other hand, when it came time to build a comprehensive project plan, design a customized technical solution or solve problems, he came to me because that was my forte.
Once I realized this, I took a new approach to my own self-development. I would work on my “below average” weaknesses only enough to raise them to a minimal acceptable level. Instead,I focused my efforts to be exceptional in a few areas where I excelled.
It worked – professionally and personally.
In the 30 years since then, I’ve often recommended this approach to people I mentored and managed. Some of them applied it and their careers skyrocketed. Some disagreed and usually grew increasingly frustrated and dissatisfied with their lack of progress.
When someone is above average they make it look easy. For them, it is easy.
Fighting to be something we are not is hard. Trying to change the world, the system, “the man” or others has a below average chance of success.
My advice: accept this, maximize your strengths and keep stepping.