A good friend of mine was telling me how abnormal his life has been. Five years ago he moved into his parent’s home to help care for his elderly father who had ALS. For three years, my friend and his mother nursed his father until he passed away. This was an all-consuming labor of love.
After his father died, my friend participated in a medical research study and was diagnosed with a rare medical condition. As a result of the study, my friend received treatment and fully recovered. He volunteered to be a case study. One thing lead to another and over the next 12 months, he wrote several articles for medical journals and presented to a number of panels.
Then came the Covid pandemic. Since my friend was living with his elderly mother now, he took extra care to take all of the recommended safety precautions over the next 18 months. As with many of us, his life was turned upside down by the pandemic.
My friend said, “My life hasn’t been normal for 5 years.”
My response was, “You’re wrong about that. This is normal life.”
I reminded him of the 4 years of my life after I first met him:
- My wife was being treated for a severe infection. She spent 11 months being sick in bed while I cared for her, the pets and took care of all household responsibilities.
- I left a job for a startup that went bankrupt a month later. Then I was unemployed for 4 months until I started my 3rd job in a year.
- My drug addicted stepdaughter bounced in and out of rehab and our home. Then she overdosed and died.
- We relocated from Pittsburgh back to Florida.
At the time, it felt like my life was completely abnormal. This was a lot of drama and trauma in a short period of time.
Now that I’m older, I see that this is normal life. It’s just not what we’re used to, what we expected or what we wanted.
Sometimes life goes smoothly and everything seems to fall in place. Sometimes we deal with tragedy. Sometimes bad news comes in waves, seemingly never-ending.
Some people have it easy. Some people have it hard.
What I’ve learned is that it is important to savor the good times when they happen. Because these memories are what helps me get through the bad times.
Someone wiser than me once said,
“People’s lives are like the weather. Some people have stormier weather than others.”
I shared that message with my friend. I’m not sure if it brought him any comfort. But it is something that echoes in my mind whenever I get caught up thinking how terminally unique my life is and how others have it easier.