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How Someone Treats You Shows You How They Feel About You*

Posted on December 9, 2025December 21, 2025 by Steve Ainslie

I don’t waste my time trying to determine someone else’s motivations, beliefs or intentions. My speculations about what is going on inside someone else’s head are completely irrelevant. Unless we have a close relationship or the matter is trivial, I usually won’t ask them either.

What is more revealing is their actions.

I don’t need to get inside someone else’s head to see these.


When someone tells me they love me, I usually think, not really.


When someone calls themself my friend, I think – I have had many acquaintances throughout my life and a handful of true friends.

Even with the ebbs and flows of friendship, true friends always reveal themselves with their actions.


This is something I apply to every relationship.

  • Dating
  • Family
  • Coworkers
  • Teammates
  • Friends/Enemies/Competitors/Partners
  • Mentors
  • Parents
  • Children
  • Government (& politicians)
  • Influencers

I don’t need to ponder what someone else is thinking. Most likely they aren’t thinking about me at all.

As for you, it’s probably the same.


*I heard Mel Robbin’s say this on a podcast recently.

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