If you haven’t read Sebastian Junger’s book “Tribe”, I highly recommend it. In it he writes eloquently about meaning, purpose and connection we find when we’re part of a tightly knit group of people.
This spoke to me, because I’ve been fortunate to have been part of several tribes during my life.
- As a small child, my tribe was my extended family and multiple generations of friends in the small town of Tamaqua. We were all poor. We stuck together. We helped each other out. We celebrated and mourned together.
- In my preteen years, my tribe was my friends from the neighborhood and school. We spent all of our time together. We were in the same socio-economic class. We were mostly broke kids from working class families.
- In high school, my tribe was a subset of the academically “gifted” kids at school. We went to the same classes for 4 years together and developed friend groups led to some of the best parties, dates, laughter and support.
- During my working life, I was part of several tribes: the pizza shop crew, the lifeguards, the warehouse team, the sales guys, the original startup team, the 3 man business, the managers, the West team and the fast paced sales hustlers. At least a decade before I retired, I had realized how special it was to be part of a tight knit group at work and actively sought these out.
And of course, for most of my adult life, I had my wife and our pets. We were our own small tribe that outlasted all others.
Being part of a tribe is what I miss most from work (and school before that). As much as I love my solo life, it is incomplete without having shared work, effort, goals and recreation.
Somedays I think about returning to work simply to be a part of a team once again.
But then I think about things like having a boss, commuting, being on the clock, and losing the freedom I’ve found in retirement. So I don’t go back to work.
Maybe I’ll eventually find another tribe. Perhaps with my neighbors. Or with people who share common interests and activities.
Or perhaps my days of being part of a tribe have passed me by. Although I hope not.
Time will tell.