Lately, I have been listening to Dr. Peter McGraw’s Solo Podcast. A frequent topic of conversation is dating and relationships. Often during his interviews the conversation will touch upon “tactics, techniques and methods” to employ when dating.
Peter shuts these down immediately by stating,
“I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.”
That’s a novel idea.
He doesn’t try to convince someone to like him. He doesn’t use ”proven tactics” to try to get someone to develop feelings for him. He doesn’t try to mold himself into “the ideal man” for her. He doesn’t play games or try to manipulate her.
He only spends time with women who want to spend time with him.
Peter says that many of his initial dates do not turn into romantic relationships. Some become friends, some become business partners, some set him up with one of their friends, and some do become romantic partners.
I like his approach and his philosophy. I feel the same way. If someone doesn’t want to be with me, I don’t want to be with her either. And it is OK. She may have good reasons or bad reasons (in my opinion) for this. But, if we’ve just met, none of the reasons really matter.
I think this sounds like a great way to view early dates. All we’re trying to determine is if we like each other enough to see each other again.
It seems like a quite rational, adult and kind way to approach dating.