Ive had quite a few moments of clarity this summer as I thought about my plans for the rest of my life. Some of these will impact my immediate future, some are midrange and others longterm. With this clarity I’ve been able to clear my head of “what ifs?”, fairy tales and fantasies about my future.
Since I’ve been solo during the past 3 1/2 years, all of these have taken up space in my head.
Here’s what I’ve concluded:
- I am never moving to another country. Becoming a citizen of a European country, the Nordics, Australia or Canada is not going to happen. I don’t meet any of the requirements.
- I’m not going to tour Europe with a backpack. I likely won’t ever even visit there again.
- I’m not doing a thru-hike on the Appalachian or Pacific Coast Trail. There’s zero chance I’d camp out for months on end and hike thousands of miles while forgoing the comfort, convenience and routines of my life today.
- I’ll never have a tribe of close friends like I had when I was a child, in school and or early in my career.
- I will never be wealthy. My money making days are over. Hitting the lottery, marrying a wealthy woman or receiving an unexpected inheritance are all pipe dreams.
- I won’t find another true love. When I first fell in love, I was a teen. Later, I was only a few years older as a young adult. I’m so far removed from who I used to be, that falling in love could never be the same. In addition, I’m not dating, don’t socialize much and rarely meet anyone new. I’m settled and content with my life. The odds of finding love are not in my favor.
- I’ll never start a business again. I don’t need the money, don’t have the ambition and enjoy my life too much as it is.
- I’m never moving to NYC, San Francisco, Seattle or Portland so I can embrace a car free, big city life. The lifestyle doesn’t fit me. I don’t want to hear sirens, traffic, bars and trash trucks 24×7. I don’t want diesel fumes, garbage smells and homeless encampments to make up my regular environment. I’m a suburb guy. Maybe, I could move to a slightly smaller town but right now, that’s not a consideration.
My “bucket/fantasy list” has been winnowed down as I face reality. I’m sure there will be items items to cross off my list as time moves on (like my big dog dream and being a cool uncle).
It’s actually quite refreshing – now I can stop investing any thought or energy into these ideas at all.
Instead I’ll focus on what is right in front of me right now.