I began working as an employee the month I turned 16. I was in 10th grade and needed money for clothes, food, entertainment, sneakers, books, dating, and savings
32 years later I worked my final day as an employee.
I always worked for the money.
In college, I needed money for tuition, food, books, supplies, bus fare and entertainment. After leaving college and moving in with my future wife, I had a family to support and needed money for everything – rent, food, utilities, loan payments, medicine, health care, and more.
For most of my adult life, we lived paycheck to paycheck. We had significant credit card debt, monthly expenses that exceeded our income, and could never get caught up.
When I was 40, I heard about Dave Ramsey and the Total Money Makeover on the radio. He talked about paying off all of your debt – including your mortgage – and being debt free.
It was an epiphany for me. Before hearing about this, I always assumed I’d be in debt forever and would work until I died.
I followed his plan and it changed my life.
I’ve had a lot of different jobs, some better than others. The best ones gave me satisfaction, taught me new skills, helped me grow as a person, introduced me to mentors and gave me new friendships. They were exciting, challenging and even fun at times.
But not once would I have done any of them if I wasn’t getting paid.
I worked for the money.
A few months ago, a good friend of mine started a new career. He had been an untenured university professor for a long time and then was unemployed but financially secure for about 18 months due to Covid pandemic assistance and unemployment subsidies.
He now works as a skilled laborer as part of a union crew. Instead of being an autonomous (and mostly anonymous) assistant professor, he is part of a team of craftsmen. Each day, he begins work in the predawn hours and frequently works 10-12 hours shifts. The crew is tight knit. They work long, hard hours. They help each other out constantly. They are paid well. He loves it.
My friend’s entire demeanor and outlook on life has measurably improved because of his new job. He derives so much more than money from it. It provides him with social bonds, a feeling of self-worth, confidence, pride, joy, friendship, satisfaction and more.
This week, my mother, who is a retired nurse, began interviewing for a part-time job. She retired from nursing 5 years ago and worked part-time doing after school childcare for preschoolers before Covid hit. Then, her program was shut down and she isolated at home during the pandemic for nearly two years.
She is returning to work because she said, “It’s a reason to get out of bed and get dressed in the morning.” She needs work to provide her with social contacts. She needs it to give her a reason to leave her house. She doesn’t need the money.
These two examples in my life got me thinking more about work and why I don’t feel the same way my mother and friend feel about work.
Initially I was thinking, it’s because I saved enough to be able to retire.
But that’s not really it. Both were relatively financially comfortable without working.
I think it comes down to self-direction vs. other direction.
I don’t like being told what to do. I hate being “on the clock” according to someone else’s schedule (or whims).
What’s striking is that my days as a retiree are extremely predictable and tightly scheduled. I wake up early to an alarm. My daily routine is rigid – often down to the minute.
The difference is that I choose my schedule. I create my agenda. I don’t answer to someone else. I thrive in being able to make my own choices for activities and focus.
My mother, on the other hand, has always been a workaholic. She chose to work long hours, double shifts and weekends her entire life. I now realize it wasn’t always about the money. She did it because it filled her time. Working all the time allowed her to not take responsibility for making choices and taking actions to expand her life. Instead, her bosses, the rules, and her schedule were determined by someone else. She prefers this to autonomy.
My friend, on the other hand, professes to want to be retired and not have to work. However, when he had two years of extended unemployment while having 95% of his income covered, he suffered tremendously. Within a few weeks, he was dissatisfied with his life and himself. He craved the direction, purpose, recognition and daily contact that work provided him and he was unable to build this without work.
Neither my friend nor my mother are wrong. They need to work.
While I would love to have an income and I do miss certain aspects from work, I do not have the same needs.
But, I am open to possibilities. If the right opportunity presents itself, I could see myself working as an employee once again.
But it would have to be a pretty special opportunity.
As for now, I am quite content filling my life with self-directed activity and setting my own schedule. While their are some aspects I would like to change – most will require something other than paid work to do it.