I was dog sitting again for neighbor this week so I got to hang out in his house which is an “identical twin” to my house – except it’s across the street and it’s full of stuff that I don’t have.
Like before, as soon as I opened his front door I felt claustrophobic. It started with his storm door because he has super strong closers on it so I had to fight with it to hold it open while I unlocked his front door. It also has a very tasteful wreath on it that covers the entire top half of the glass frame, effectively blocking the view of daylight.
Once in his home, I had the same feeling as before about his stuff. Much of it is really nice. He has some beautiful furniture, nice appliances, a egg grill, etc. He and his wife have good taste and maintain a clean, orderly house.
But it’s not empty like mine is.
I thought about the some more today and realized it’s not just about having less stuff. I like wide open spaces.
I want sight lines from inside the house that go clear across the street. I want to see the treetops and hills in the distance.
I like empty fields. I like to see the sun rise and the moon shine at night.
I love watching the ocean.
I like looking at the blinking light atop the radio tower a few mils away.
I want to see the clouds.
Until I was 21 and moved in with my wife, I never had much stuff. I had a few drawers of clothes. A few toys. One coat. Two pairs of shoes. A shoebox that contained the mementos of my entire life. A closet with a few dressy items. A snare drum and 8 pairs of sticks. I did have a lot of books – I bought these at thrift stores and “inherited” 100s from the hoarder whose house we rented.
But even with all this stuff, my bedroom, where I spent the majority of my time, was quite empty.
I just didn’t know then how much I liked it and how much I would grow to love it as an adult.
When I went on the road to live in the wide open spaces of the wilderness, the thought of the vast expanse of emptiness appealed to me.
I really thought I would love it.
I didn’t.
I missed society. I missed my convenient creature comforts like shelter, selectivity, plumbing and living space.
I can picture myself visiting the wide open spaces of the wilderness again, but not staying there forever.