People who know me think I have great willpower because I exercise religiously, I eat a strict diet, I don’t drink, I was faithfully married for 29 years until my wife died, I keep a neat house and I’ve been able to retire early.
They are wrong.
I don’t have great willpower.
I eliminate choices instead.
When I quit drinking after 10 years of getting drunk even night, I quit cold turkey. I didn’t try to taper off, switch cocktails or count drinks because I had tried all of those and failed. I got rid of all of the booze in my house, joined a program and started therapy. I haven’t had a drink in more than 16 years.
When I committed to my wife, I committed 100%. I didn’t flirt with there women. I didn’t watch porn. I made it clear to anyone around me that I was married and in love. Being with another woman simply was not an option for me.
To control what I eat, I don’t bring any food into my house that is bad for me. I don’t buy nuts, peanut butter, chocolate, ice cream, or chips. I don’t go to Taco Bell. I don’t order delicious high calorie Italian takeout. If I eliminate my access to these foods, I have no problem not eating them. But, on the occasion when I break down, I will eat an entire half gallon of ice cream and a jar of peanut butter together in one sitting. For what it is worth – I still think about these foods. Sometimes I still want them. But rarely will I get in my car, go to the store, buy them and bring them home for a gorge fest.
When I found myself watching too much TV, I canceled cable, gave away my TV and got rid of Netflix. Problem solved.
When it comes to exercise, I have a structured routine. I wake early, set a rigid schedule, create goals and track my progress. I don’t give myself the option of “do I feel like it today?” As long as I am healthy enough to move (eg. not post-op, injured or ill), I follow the routine. I leave no choice to opt in or out.
I use my willpower to narrow down my choices. If I can narrow the choices down to one, I don’t need to exercise any willpower whatsoever.