I am a member of an online forum of “single-by-choice” people that is associated with the Solo podcast. I first joined it out of curiosity to learn how other solos live and see what they have to say. Sometimes there are thoughtful threads on specific podcast episodes. Other times people ask questions or share advice. One of the reasons I remain active in the forum is that the podcast host uses the forum to solicit input from podcast listeners and I like to help him. Occasionally, I’ll offer my two cents on topics where I have specific, relevant experience and expertise.
Like any anonymous/quasi-anonymous user forum, there are some annoying people. Once I identify them, I simply ignore their posts and comments, like I do on any other forum. These people come across to me as argumentative, whiny, combative, negative, or just extremely long winded.
I never argue with them or call them out. There would be no point in doing that. I’m not going to convince anyone online that they are wrong and I am right. And…I don’t even know if I am “right” anyway.
I’ve noticed there are several members who like to tell others what they “should do“. In particular, they will tell the podcast host how he should be more “inclusive”, or change his approach, or write his book in a certain way, or be aware of his “privilege” yada, yada, yada. They like to criticize and scold.
The host is quite gracious with his responses. I see him bend over backwards to acknowledge his biases and approach. I would personally have a hard time doing that.
I read some of these whiny threads that start with “You should…” and think, “If you think you can do this better, then start your own podcast or write your own book.”
It’s easy to point out problems and tell other people what they should do. It’s a lot harder to actually do something to sole a problem instead of just whine about it.
So when I start whining and saying “you should”, feel free to call me out. Or better yet, ignore me.