Since my wife died, I think about dying a lot. Not all the time anymore, but most days. I am more aware of life, aging, deterioration and signs of death. I notice when elderly neighbors and people I see regularly show signs of decline. I pay more attention to famous people’s obituaries and am curious enough about the causes of their deaths to read them.
My wife dying obviously changed my perspective regarding death. The Covid pandemic undoubtedly contributed. My mother’s health decline does too. As does getting older myself and spending time around older people.
While I miss my wife, Snickers, my other pets and my family members who have passed away, thinking about death doesn’t make me sad. It is a part of life that I accept now as casually as I accept changes in the weather.
Something I’ve observed is how quickly a person becomes unimportant after they die- not to the people who mourn them, but to the rest of society.
It’s as if they disappeared overnight.
There was a story in the news last week about an 81 year old man who was arrested for using a slingshot to shoot holes in his neighbors’ home and car windows for 8 years! (It must have been a slow news day because this was presented like it was an “America’s Most Wanted” crime story).
He was arrested and arraigned then released to return home until his hearing. He died the next day.
The timing was a notable coincidence but otherwise there’s nothing remarkable about his death. He was old and in poor health.
He will never be mentioned again – I’m sure.
Diane Feinstein was in the news for decades. First, for her work as a politician and then in recent years for being clearly unfit to be a senator due to her failing physical and mental capacity. Then she died. After her funeral and eulogy, we never heard about her again.
There are famous musicians, actors, executives, athletes and celebrities who have all died. Within days they are forgotten by all except for their families and a Wikipedia entry.
I will never forget my wife. I think about her every day. Other people who loved her probably think about her too. But for the rest of the world, she disappeared the day she died and life goes on.
It will be the same for everyone.
One day, we’ll read about Joe Biden passing away. And Donald Trump. And many other people who dominate the headlines today and seem to be so important.
And like every else, after a few days, they too will disappear and it will be almost like they never existed.
One day it will be me and you too.
I like knowing this. For some reason, it brings me an inner peace and eliminates all of my worries about the future.