After my wife died a few weeks ago, I cancelled TV service with Comcast. I have Netflix, Amazon Prime and an OTA digital antenna so I figured these would suffice. Within a few days, I stopped watching all TV. I no longer watch movies, TV shows or the news. Instead I listen to music, read books…
Author: Steve Ainslie
Big Empty Life
My wife went into hospice two weeks ago and never returned. Now it’s just me, my dog and our two cats living a big empty life in my big empty house. I like quiet – but I liked it more when I had Ellen to share it with. A hundred times a day, I want to…
Black and White
I spent my first 7 years living in a small coal mining town that was 100% white. There wasn’t a single black person who lived in my town. I’d seen black people on TV shows like “The Jeffersons” and “Sanford and Son” but I had never met one in person before I turned 7. I…
Keep Your Eyes Open For An Opportunity To Help
After my disappointing car selling attempt a few weeks ago, I called a friend to complain. He told a story about when he was settling his mother’s estate and had to sell a couple of her old cars.
Carnundrum
During the past five years, my wife and I had little use for two cars. I worked from home (or not at all), she drove very little and we almost never drove both cars simultaneously. Now that she’s gone, I planned to sell her car. I’ve got my 2004 Scion 9 (the Toaster) with…
My Wife Died Last Night
Ellen was my one and only true love. For 29 years she was the light of my life. She brought joy, color and life into my world. She fought her cancer with every bit of her mind and body, enduring grueling treatments and suffering from months of pain trying to stay alive for me and…
Dying Without Dignity
I live in Florida, a state that has no “death with dignity” law, so for eight days I sat by my wife’s bedside in the hospital waiting for her to die. If we had such a law, it would have saved us months of anguish. It would have given my wife a peaceful death in…
Fashion Show – Remembering My Wife
I was talking to Zack the other day about what to do with my wife’s clothing after she dies. Normally, I am a purger. Whenever we moved or downsized in the past, I got rid of stuff quickly. If I hadn’t seen or used it for a year I got rid of it. But this…
Car Insurance Stupidity
My wife no longer drives her car. She hasn’t driven for months due to the debilitating pain and side effects from her cancer and treatments. Now she’s in her final days at a hospice facility and will never be driving again. So I called my car insurance broker yesterday to have her removed from my…
Are You Afraid Of Dark Skinned People?
If you follow politics and the news, you’ll hear about hordes of immigrants trying to cross the border to steal our jobs. You’ll see videos of young black men being arrested. You’ll read stories about crime in Chicago’s West Side and Miami’s Overton neighborhoods which are full of African Americans, hispanics and immigrants. If you’ve…