My friend has spent the past few years doing online dating with moderate success. He unsuccessfully tried to convince me to jump into that cesspool ever since I settled back down in Raleigh.
For the first two years, I had no interest in dating whatsoever. Even this third year, I was apathetic and noncommittal at best. As for online dating apps, I’ve written about what I thought of them before.
But my non-dating experience with my good looking former neighbor woke something inside of me that had been dormant since my wife died.
I want a woman in my life.
Which means I have to start dating. Which means I have to look for women who want to date.
Which means, unfortunately, at least trying online dating.
So last night I created accounts at Bumble and Hinge. I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile. Then I was presented with pictures of women to swipe right (interested) or swipe left (not interested). The apps purport to “learn” my preferences to send me the best matches.
Of course, I chose the free accounts out both, which offer limited functionality for setting filters and parameters.
After swiping for 2 hours, I had swiped right on 5 or 6 women who were moderately attractive and had interesting profile text.
I had swiped left (not interested) on several hundred woman. Women that looked like my grandmother. Women who were morbidly obese. Women who’s lives centered on their kids. Women who professed their religion to be a top priority. Women who wanted to drink, party and travel.
Hmmm. This “preference learning” clearly wasn’t working for me.
My friend told me today that I needed to upgrade to the paid for services, the “priority likes” and other add-ons. He said that attractive women get 100s of left swipes and you need to pay to get at the top of the list.
Nope. Not gonna do it.
First, I despise the concept.
Second, why do I want to “compete” with hundreds of other desperate men just for a chance to text a woman? (Note- I am not desperate. I am quite content to go back to my normal life without “likes”, “swipes” and “digital dates”.)
Third, I have no desire to become “good” at using online dating apps. I am here for one thing only, to be introduced to potentially compatible women who are interested dating. I don’t play games and could care less about :gaming” the online dating system.
I’ll keep my profile up for a few weeks. I’ll dedicate half an hour each evening to logging in, swiping and texting.
We’ll see how this pans out.
It occurs to me that men are the cannon fodder of the online dating world. The apps use the small number of attractive women to entice the overwhelming number of men to stay on the app, pay for upgrades and feed the system.
I don’t envision myself participating in this for very long.