Quitting dating apps 2 years ago was undoubtedly the right move for me. I’m glad I tried the apps and I’m proud that I had the guts to give dating a shot after being married for 29 years. My 4 month experience gave me insight into dating after being widowed, dating in middle age and using dating apps. It was not for me.
I realize now with hindsight, that none of the women I dated would have been a good match for me, nor me for them. Some were quite attractive. A few had impressive careers and educations. One had a great sense of humor and a smile that lit up my world. Another exuded a sweet, nurturing side that I admired.
But, wow, what terrible matches we would have made. I won’t disparage any of them by detailing why here. But, reflecting now, I would have never dated any of them knowing what I know about where they were in life, their interests and our incompatibilities.
It is quite possible that I will never date again. I wouldn’t mind dating, if I connect in person with someone but I’m not actively looking. In fact, I’m not even passively looking.
If I do date again, I know what I want – a committed, monogamous relationship. I have no desire to date multiple people, nor do I have any interest in dating someone who wants to date multiple people.
I date like a married guy because that’s how I’ve always dated. Commitment, kindness, care, communication, honesty and consideration are all part of that package as far as I’m concerned.
I have no desire to change that.
Occasionally, one of my friends will suggest I start dating again. Many of the podcasts I listen to talk about dating, relationships and love. I’m part of the Solo forum, where nonconventional relationships like ethical no monogamy and polyamory are frequently discussed.
I’ve got no interest in any of that.
Clarity in knowing who I am and what I’m willing to accept is good. It leaves me with a clearer perspective and a more realistic expectations.
