One of my friends said this about dating, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the right woman.”
Another friend said I should to date at least 100 different women before committing to one.
Even TMF, who I dated for a few weeks, advised me to date multiple women because otherwise, “How would you know who’s the best?“
All three of them have my best interests at heart. They are only trying to help me navigate the dating world successfully.
But I disagree with their advice.
- First, I don’t think of dating as an elimination game of “kissing frogs”. It feel to me more like kissing a lot of princesses. Every woman I’ve connected with, however briefly, was special in some way. She had to be – otherwise we would have never made that initial connection.
- Second, when I make a genuine connection with someone, I don’t want to or need to look for someone “better”. Instead, I’ll focus my time, attention and energy on building a relationship with her.
- Third, the idea that women are interchangeable objects to be stack-ranked and sorted to find the “best one” is repulsive. I don’t think this way.
The women I’ve met so far have been spectacular. Each, in her own unique way, has been attractive, intelligent, witty and charming. I could imagine myself building a relationship with any one of them.
Sometimes we don’t make it beyond the first date because there are no sparks. Sometimes, we’ve had several dates before realizing we wanted different things from the relationship.
That’s to be expected.
After all, we’re meeting in real life for the first time on our first date. It will take at least a few dates to determine if we both feel strongly enough to commit to a relationship.
So far, it hasn’t happened yet. But I’ve only been dating for 6 weeks.
It’s only a matter of time until I kiss the right princess.