A podcaster I listen to brought his “behind-the-scenes” producer on camera for a guest interview this week. After he introduced the producer he asked her what she thought of being brought on camera. She said, “My Mom was so excited!“
The producer is 25 years old.
On a different podcast, the host frequently talks about going on annual vacations with his parents. He also frequently visits Florida, where his parents live, and stays with them for weeks to months a time. His podcasts often include tales of dinners with his parents, them coming to his comedy shows and advice he gets from his father.
He’s 37.
I can’t imagine what it would feel like to have parents that interested in my life. My father was non-existent in my life. My mother came to my Middle School and High School graduations. She attended my school’s annual Open House/Parent-Teacher conference where the teachers would tell her how I was the world’s greatest student. Otherwise, she had little to do with any of my activities.
I was on my own for everything from Cub scouts, to after school club, to homework, to meals, to laundry, to little league, to choosing classes and anything else. She didn’t attend any events and only rarely drove me to them. I don’t even remember her talking to me much about them although I suppose she must have.
Once I entered adulthood, my mother talked to me on the phone regularly. We’d get together for dinner periodically. Once or twice a year, we’d see each other at Christmas, Thanksgiving or Easter. She never visited any of my workplaces, let alone attended any of my events – or for that matter, my step kids events.
So it is probably not surprising that we haven’t seen each other in years, nor are we likely to anytime soon.
We’re not like the podcaster, his producer and their families.
Having a close relationship with parents sounds so strange to me – even though my wife and I were very involved with our (her) kids’ lives. We participated in every event and activity – from moving to good school districts to attending baseball practice to helping with homework to dance class to arranging play dates, etc.
When the kids were adults, we invited them to vacation with us. When they visited our hometown, they stayed in our homes (or, in the case of our daughter, lived with us, off and on, for years). We helped them with college, counseled them on careers, bailed them out of financial difficulties, ate dinner with them, and listened to their tales of woe (my wife did much more listening than I did). We relocated several times to be closer to them.
Still, it is jarring when I hear these podcasters talk about how involved their parents are in their lives. It’s unimaginable to me – a latchkey kid since I was in 3rd grade.
To me, they might as well be speaking in a foreign language.