The best thing about opting out of dating is not going on dates. The second best thing is not caring what others think of me. I don’t wonder if my weird habits will be a turn off. I don’t worry that I’m not attractive. I don’t have to go places I don’t enjoy. I don’t have to “sell myself”. I don’t have to try to accommodate schedules, preferences and whims of strangers.
It is fantastic.
As someone who has opted out of the dating market, I don’t care at all about how I look to others. However, I still care about how I look – to myself.
I have my own style of grooming and dressing. I pay attention to my fitness, my weight and my clothes. But I could care less what random strangers think of my appearance.
I’ve had this attitude, in varying degrees, throughout my life. But now, if anything, it’s increased and solidified.
The irony is, nobody cares about how I look. And for the most part, nobody ever has. The same is true for you.
There are a few exceptions – your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse might care, your mom might care, someone who is attracted to you might care. Nobody else is paying any attention, they are too wrapped up in how they look.
I wish I had learned this lesson when I was a teenager. All the angst and struggle to look cool, fit in, seem aloof, be attractive. I wasted a lot of thought, time and energy when all along, it never really mattered at all.
It’s better to be on the other side.