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There’s No Team In I

Posted on December 20, 2022November 18, 2025 by Steve Ainslie

Doing what I want, and not being made to do things I don’t want to do, has been one of my main priorities in adulthood, the principle around which I’ve structured my life. I would define power as the ability to make other people do what you want; freedom is the ability to do what you want.  Tim Kreider, “Power? No thanks, I’m good.”, NY…

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Looney Tunes

Posted on December 18, 2022December 19, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

I am taking a “Cartooning 101” class with the goal of adding single pane comics to my essays. Since everything I write is about me, I need to develop a self portrait/caricature/character for myself. That’s been a riot. Not. Drawing self portraits has been a challenge. So far, none of my images look like me…

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I Will Probably Disappoint You

Posted on December 16, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

This month, I was invited to be a guest on the Solo podcast! The host said that I had an “interesting story tell and have a thoughtful approach to life”. The more I think about my story and answers to some of the questions I anticipate, the more I think, “Yeah. Maybe.” I’m not ambivalent…

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Uncle Russ

Posted on December 15, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

My Uncle Russ lived in the apartment above Aunt Es. Russ lived alone. His wife died from a heart attack before I was born. He worked for the railroad until he retired. Every night, when dinner was ready, I’d run down Essie’s hallway and bang on the radiator pipe with a spoon to let him…

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Empty Tank

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

Today is exactly four years since my wife died. This year feels different than previous years. I’m not immeasurably sad. I no longer think of myself as part of a couple. Even so, I think of death everyday. I often think about my wife and this time of the year brings back some of the…

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Subsidized Life

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

I have been surprised lately by the high number of artistic people I know who present themselves as self-supporting working artists who made it through hard work, sacrifice and determination. The surprise comes when I learn that they built a successful career while having their expenses covered by their parents, inheritances and trust funds. I’m…

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Goodbye Father Stranger

Posted on December 12, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

My father died last night. After he and my mother divorced when I was around 5, he moved far away and he had little to do with us. He remarried quickly and had another child a few years later. I remember getting birthday cards each year, an occasional letter and speaking on the phone a…

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We’re Not Here

Posted on December 11, 2022December 15, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

Last night I had a dream where my wife and I were going to a fast food joint. We were walking at first but for the last mile, I flew her there using my jetpack – which, at the time, seemed totally reasonable. While we were in line placing our orders, our little old man…

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How To Make Delivery Suck

Posted on December 8, 2022December 8, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

First, I want to say that I am amazed that the US Postal Service can deliver a letter for about 50 cents to anywhere in the US in a few days. To me this is a remarkable service for an unbelievably low price. That said, my experience with the package delivery from USPS is anything…

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Deep Work

Posted on December 8, 2022December 8, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

This week I’ve been listening to Cal Newport’s podcast’s Deep Questions. Cal is an author and Computer Science Professor who writes about “the impact of technology on society, and the struggle to work and live deeply in a world increasingly mired in digital distractions”. His podcast focuses on eliminating distractions and doing meaningful work. I…

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