A kiss camera at a Coldplay concert last week showed a happy couple on the jumbo screen smiling and hugging. When the couple realized they were on camera, the woman immediately hid her face and the man turned away as the lead signer of Coldplay joked, “Either they are really shy or they’re having an affair.”
The video went viral. “Internet sleuths” identified and doxxed the couple. It runs out they were having an affair – both are married to other people.
This story blew up and was reported everywhere – on news sites, social media feeds, reddit, TikTok, YouTube, podcasts, etc. Hundreds of memes were created making fun of the couple or using it to make fun of other people.
All in good fun – right?
Not right.
You know how I feel about cheating. But as much as I abhor it, I don’t believe that publicly shaming and doxxing people is an appropriate response.
Some people do it because they think it’s funny. It’s not. It’s mean.
Some people do it sanctimoniously pointing out that the “cheaters” should know better than to be in a public venue where cameras are ubiquitous.
Some people do it to pass judgement on the cheaters – as if they themselves are beyond reproach.
F*** all those people.
I feel bad for the spouses and families of the cheaters who have now been doxxed. I feel bad for the cheaters whose professional careers are quite possibly destroyed and whose reputation will forever be tarnished when a google search of their name pops up the viral video and story.
I even feel bad for the shamers, whose lives are so small and mean that they they felt it necessary to jump on the bandwagon to immediately cause pain.
Shame, I think, can be a valuable emotion when it is felt internally. I have been ashamed of my behavior in the past and likely will have more instances of this in the future. My shame and the accompanying regrets teach me not to repeat the mistakes (or intentional bad behavior) I did that caused the shame.
Never when someone scolds or tries to shame me have I responded well. Even if it makes me feel bad, my first instinct is to buck up and tell them to go f*** themselves.
So I’m not going to scold the shamers I wrote about above. It wouldn’t help. And I’m pretty sure they aren’t reading this anyway.