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Terminal Uniqueness

Posted on May 1, 2022August 14, 2024 by Steve Ainslie

Sometimes I feel like a complete weirdo because of my past.

  • I married a woman who was 19 years older than me who had 2 kids and who’d grown up in a wealthy upper class Jewish family. She was financially bankrupted by her ex, had no career and had a background so different from mine that she might as well have been from another planet.
  • I was a high school valedictorian who dropped out of college after two years, attended night school part time for another 5 and eventually worked my way up from warehouse worker/laborer to a lucrative, yet stressful career in Tech Sales Management.
  • I moved 23 times, always looking for something better. I never lived in any home for more than 4 years. This included moving from Pittsburgh to Florida, back to Pittsburgh, back to Florida, then to Raleigh, then back to Florida, then back to Raleigh where I currently reside.
  • My step-kids were 5 and 10 when I met my wife. I became an instant father and provider at 21. My friends were still in college partying in frat houses while I lived the life of a 40 year old parent.
  • My wife had many health issues due to her age, genetics, smoking and bad luck. During the last 15 years of our marriage, I took care of her as she battled with 2 major back surgeries, 2 different bouts of cancer, two knee surgeries, cataracts, fibromyalgia, chronic pain and numerous other health issues. When I was 50, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and died after an 8 month brutal battle.

So at 50, when people my age are about to send their kids off to college, I was widowed and alone trying to figure out who I was and what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. I’m out of sync with people my age.


Today, 3.5 years later, I’ve got a fabulous life living as a single-by-choice man.

But, if anything, the life I’ve chosen is even more unconventional than my past.

  • I have no connection to my wife’s family. After she died, our relationships quickly faded. She was the glue that held us together.
  • I retired early at the peak of my career – choosing to live minimally and frugally vs. chasing wealth.
  • I exercise fanatically for hours a day. I eat a strict carnivore diet. I don’t use social media. I don’t own a TV or subscribe to Netflix.
  • I focus my free time on learning to play music, create art, enjoy nature and love my dogs.
  • I’m apolitical (all parties disgust me).
  • I’m an atheist.
  • I’m a loner.
  • I don’t drink, do drugs or eat processed food.

I have purposely designed a simple, rewarding, minimalistic life.


In some ways, I’m just an average guy. In other ways, I’m definitely weird.

Being unconventional for most of my life helped prepare me for the life I have today. I wouldn’t have it any other way.



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