As I was slowly fading away from the online dating scene, I came to some conclusions about dating and where I am in life. Over the past three years, I built a life in which I am quite satisfied with who I am, what I do and how I live. I don’t live a conventional…
Author: Steve Ainslie
Going Solo (Again)
After a flurry of marginally successful dates via dating apps over the past 4 months, I’ve decided to take a break. It’s not fun anymore. I had one last dating experience yesterday with a sweet woman. It was our 3rd date and felt comfortable and natural. We seemed to have chemistry and mutual feelings towards…
How Do You Spell Relief
Back in the 70’s there was a series of commercials for Roland’s antacid with the tagline “How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S”. The commercial would show scenes of men eating large amounts of spicy foods and then their stomachs distorting, rumbling and on fire from heartburn. Then they’d pop some Rolaids and immediately feel better….
Live Like Nobody Else
When I was about 40 years old, I heard Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover on the radio. Iistened as he gave money advice to callers. He talked about spending less money and paying off debt so that you could live the life of your dreams. It sounded somewhat sketchy, but then several people called in…
I Like To Hit Myself In The Head With A Hammer
Back when I was in high school, a local radio station morning show would play a song with a hook that went like this: “I like to hit myself in the head with a hammer, ’cause it feels so good when I stop”. This is what using dating apps has become for me. My interest…
No Advice For A Friend
A old friend of more than 30 years called me the other day. He’s having what I’ll call “relationship issues” with his girlfriend. They are fairly serious issues that are causing him duress. I could offer him no advice. I don’t have experience dealing with the specific kind of issues he’s having. I’ve never been…
Community Of Sadness
Six months after my stepdaughter died, I was still grieving and my wife was incredibly sad all the time. After hearing about Compassionate Friends, a support group for parents who had lost a child, I convinced my wife we should attend a meeting. It was awful. We sat on folding chairs in a circle with…
My Wonderfully Boring Life
I think many people would consider my life to be incredibly boring. I wake up early before dawn to walk the dog and then workout for hours. Then I swim a mile, eat lunch and take a long walk with the dog through the woods. My afternoons are filled with chores, drumming, drawing, reading, catching…
Do The Hard Thing First
When I am wrestling in my head with a problem, the answer is often quite simple – do the hard thing first. With dating, the hard thing initially was trying dating apps after years of proclaiming I’d never use them. Within a few weeks, I got past that. The next dating challenge was how to…
Conspiracy Theory
What I miss most about having a best male friend, a girlfriend, a wife or a partner, is being co-conspirators. I miss huddling up in some corner of a crowded room in our own private world – having intense conversations, raucous laughter, whispering off color jokes, speaking our own code words and intimately sharing with…