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Out Of My Control

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

When something is completely out of my control, I can fight it or I can accept it.  If I fight it, I am guaranteed to prolong my mental anguish as I burn up useless brain cycles in a losing battle.  As an action biased guy, I want to make a plan, take action and solve…

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The Birdwatchers

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

There’s an elderly couple who I see in the park when I walk my dog.  They walk together hand-in-hand for hours. The man has binoculars and a small notepad. He is a birdwatcher. He is chipper. He’s always smiling and walks with a bounce in his step. His wife appears to be older than him,…

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Grow or Atrophy

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

When I quit drinking back in 2004, I was told that every action I took would either lead me toward a drink or away from a drink.  To keep things simple, I took this to heart. Especially in the first year.  I stayed out of bars & liquor stores.  I actively participated in a program….

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Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I don’t have many “acquired tastes”. I think it is because I grew up poor. We didn’t have a color TV or cable for most of my childhood. We didn’t own a computer. Our cars were used. We rented shitty houses and apartments. We didn’t have nice clothes. We almost never ate out. I learned…

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How I Fell In Love With Raleigh

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

The first time I visited Raleigh was in April 2012 for a job interview.On the drive to my hotel from the airport, I noticed how light the traffic was on the highway. The hills were covered in trees and reminded me of Pennsylvania. I saw groups of deer running parallel to the treeline.  As we…

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Chasing The Dragon With Food

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I was fat for most of my life. Until the age of 5, I was an average skinny kid.  I was fat from 2nd grade until 9th grade. I was never the fattest kid in school but I had a fat belly, a double chin, and big flabby love handles.  From 14 to 20, I…

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Everything Ends

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

Someday, every one of my concerns will be gone.  Nothing is permanent. I have to remind myself about this when I get too wrapped up in my head.

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That Day Will Come

Posted on September 1, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I spent much of my life waiting for something better. In preschool, I couldn’t wait until I was a first-grader. After Sunday family dinners at my Grandmother’s house,  I couldn’t wait until an hour had passed so we could go swimming. In high school, I couldn’t;t wait until I graduated and went to college. In…

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If It Doesn’t Work I’m Sending It Back

Posted on August 31, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

I buy almost everything from Amazon.  While I despise some of its business practices, I am enthralled with its logistical superiority, its broad inventory, and its convenience.  When possible, prudent and practical, I prefer to buy from specialty shops that offer great customer service like REI, Marmot and Sweetwater. In general, though, I hate buying…

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You Can Commiserate Or You Can Plow Forward

Posted on August 31, 2021September 4, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

Sometimes I want to wallow in self-pity and victimhood. When I feel this way, I know what to do. I keep moving forward. Usually, within a few minutes or a few hours, I feel better. But there are days when that bad feeling is inescapable. I had one of these a few weeks ago: Whenever…

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