Ever since my wife was diagnosed with lung cancer, our lives have been filled with waiting. Waiting for the next doctor’s appointment to order the next step. Waiting for the next scan to be scheduled. Waiting for the test results. Waiting for treatment to begin. Waiting to see improvements. Waiting for her pain to get…
Bullfrog
When I was a lifeguard in a poor neighborhood one of my regulars was a kid named Jeremiah. Jeremiah was around 12 years old. He’d swim at my pool every single day. When he wasn’t swimming, he’d hang out in the adjacent playground. As I got to know him, I really liked him. Like me, he…
My Wife Is Dying
My wife was diagnosed with lung cancer 7 months ago. It’s been pretty terrible ever since. She had surgery to remove the lower lobe of her lung including a large tumor. She had two sessions of chemotherapy. She had 10 days in a row of radiation. She had 5 months of worsening back pain as…
Consumed By Death
Lately, death has consumed my every waking moment. My days are filled with my wife’s doctor visits, tests and treatments. I’m either driving her there, waiting for the appointment or fighting to schedule the next one. If we’re not at the hospital, then I’m home trying to take care of my wife’s needs, do all…
Why I Don’t Drink
The first time I got drunk I was 15 years old. I had tagged along with my sister to a college party. It was a blast. I drank as much as possible, as fast as possible, to get as drunk as possible. I was silly. I fit in with the college kids. I had fun….
Lapping It Up
I forgot how much I love swimming. When I was 5 my dad taught me the breaststroke. I picked up on it quickly – swimming and diving underwater like a happy little frog (if that frog had arms and a mask). Every day in the summer I swam. I liked pools better than lakes, because…
Damaged Goods
My dog Snickers is a rescue. We adopted her 9 years ago. I was pleasantly surprised that Snickers liked to play fetch, knew how to walk on a leash and was housebroken. Her not-so-good qualities were all fear based. She’s a runner who’s scared of people, dogs and loud noises. The first week I had…
Fantasy vs Reality
When I was younger, I was certain that I was destined to do great things. I thought I would cure cancer, become a famous neurosurgeon or at the very least, get my PhD and be an esteemed college professor. I’d have the perfect family with 2 kids, a golden retriever, a Mercedes and a mansion….
She Knows What You Think Anyway
One day, I was seeking advice from a wiser man on dealing with my sister with whom I had a bad relationship. He asked for examples and I had plenty: She tortured me as a kid. She tried to have her boyfriend beat me up. She lied, cheated and stole from me. She always hated…
A Hermit And Dunbar’s Number
Dunbar’s Number is a theory that human beings can maintain a maximum of 150 close personal relationships. Dunbar said that traditional hunter gatherer tribes, nomadic tribes, and military units generally had less than 150 members. When groups got larger than this, social bonds become weaker and they would split off into factions. He said that most…